You can call me Miss Petrillo

An open letter to vocal men

2010-05-14T12:57:00.000-07:00

Dear Can't Keep it to Yourselves,

As a woman, I do not need you to deliver God's Blessings to me.

If I wanted them, I'd go to Church.

I do not need you to twirk your neck when I walk by so you can see my ass.

If I wanted that I'd bend over for you.

I do not need you to tell me I'm beautiful.

If I wanted that I'd ask a gentleman who isn't wearing a wife-beater and a bandana.

I do not need you to make cat-like/animal-type hissing noise at me to get my attention.

If I wanted that I'd be in the "furries" scene.

Keep it to yourself.

Save it for your own girlfriend(s).

Or be prepared to:

Buy me everything I want

Take me to the BEST restaurants in the city

Take my verbal abuse when I turn into a bitch

Consistently listen to my long stories and "new characters"

Be willing to drop everything you're doing for ME ME ME ME ME!

and

STOP CAT-CALLING OTHER WOMEN!

And fuck you for making me have to worry about what I wear each day because I don't feel like getting fake-hit on. douche.

Sincerely,

Tracey Petrillo

Thoonk Good Oots Frooodooo!

2007-08-24T08:30:00.000-07:00

I love Friday for many reasons....

Casual Fridays, Summer Half day at work Fridays, and most importantly New Intervention on A&E Fridays!

Jesus I love intervention.

Christ I love intervention.

Only son of the father I LOVE intervention.

I'm feeling very creative these days I just might have to make a baby.

Just kidding.

Summertime...ewwww's

2007-08-01T15:25:00.000-07:00

Okay I'll say it.
It's August, it's hot, people are carrying around ICED coffee's.
There are sundresses, flip flops, booty shorts and pedicures.
So Please
Please
Please

Take a Fucking shower you STINK!
I don't give two good solid shits if you've got papers, I don't care if you swam here (clearly NOT recently)
I don't care if you have to peel off that nasty fucking smatka you've been wearing for the last 5 days.

Take a Fucking Shower YOU STINK!!!
You're in this country to have a "better life?" Well it starts with a nice hot shower. (and soap)
EVERYDAY!!

Some might say "ooooh why do you care, it doesn't effect you."
P to the S...it does!
I may not be bruised from it, but you are causing me mental anguish which makes me not want to leave the house which could get me fired! How about that?

And on one final note if you're offended...I AM TALKING TO YOU,
PROCEED TO THE NEAREST SHOWER you FUCKING STINK!!!

tish

2007-04-06T09:46:00.000-07:00

What did temps do before the internet?
But seriously folks.
thank god its here.
I would be about to pull my pubes out, and I'm italian so you can imagine.

Secondly

2007-03-30T21:04:00.000-07:00

Its interesting when people become so self involved that they can't even identify the fact that they are
in fact
self involved.

The average, (aw heck) more than the
average person
doesn't give a shit--I mean an all night beer SHIT
about how you're actually doing.

Humans are selfish its true.
Most people just want to talk out all the shit that's going on with themselves.

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS

Acknowledgement is key.

on side note, my nipples are hard cause the window's open.
At least, I think that's the reason

Interfuckingvention

2007-03-30T20:55:00.000-07:00

We know what you are feeling.

Don't think we all don't want to be "addicts."

Is there an intervention for my traziness.....I don't think so.

so

"let them smoke meth"
_Marie Antoinette

Lucky me
1. My parents are together
2. I can enjoy drugs and alcohol in moderation
3. What was the point?

Seriously I don't know.
why am I so angry??

Don't know. But that's that buttlick.
That's that.

I just saw a woman on a commercial that clearly read a cue card at one point, but she was good enough for them to cast her.

Pug dogs are idiotic.

I hate when animals talk out loud.
I mean, when they do in a movie...like Air Bud.
I think he just played basketball, but its the same thing.
Babe is excused...cause they were smart enough to not make it sing "I like big butts," and the trailer didn't background with "Who let the dogs out." Woof. woof, woof, woof.

Shit, its an ugly world but luckily I posess enough inner beauty to light the world.

Essence of Trace

2007-03-30T09:05:00.000-07:00

Shit on my stomach and I mean that in a very unnecessary way.

Shocked? Probably not, this is a time of tranny outroar and celebrity vaginey.
Still, I would never fuck Jude Law. Hello, he is gayer than Paul Lynde. Who ownes my favorite quote of all time,
while riding on an airplane amongst a screaming baby. "If you don't shut that baby up I'm going to fuck it."

Amen, Paul.

The point is. There is no point! I could tell you about all my drama as a struggling actress and certifiable loon, but
guess what? Everyone's struggling. If you want to relate to someone go read the fucking Secret and start a support group.
Me, I prefer to let out my aggressions through rape. Raping the stray cats that live on my garage roof. Whiskers and Mittens.
Tomcats in the sack, literally. I don't even have a penis, but the sex is Ah-may-zing.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound.

I love the sound of my own farts. Well, anyone's farts but I love the smell of my own.
Oh, it stinks. But in a good intestinal appreciation sort of way. No reason not to whiff it around. I would eat it if I could. Poop that is. why not.

I remember asking my dad when I was very young if I could in fact eat poop. His response, "Try it." My mother yelled from the kitchen "Don't tell her that.' My dad thought this was hilarious.

It's all your fault Dad....it's all your fault.